Corto....Talking on the phone

So today i read a few blogs and read over mine as well. And i'm realizing that i need to start writing to myself everyday. Even if its just a short one. Getting things off da shoulda...on a regular basis maybe very helpful for me as a theatre artist, as an RA, as a Friend, as a daughter, as...still hopefully...a gf.

The last words I heard spoken on the phone to me last night was, "I don't want to talk to you."

And I said, "But I really want to talk to you. If you don't want to talk to me, then we could just end it."

And he said, "I don't want to do all that. You are such a baby you always have to get what you want. And I don't want to deal with someone like that. I don't want to talk to you!!!"

I'm so surprised at the fact that I didn't hang up the phone and start balling my eyes out.

So the situation these days is that I am just so lonely.

And you see when u have your boyfriend around you, you are just so happy because he makes you feel so special. But then when he is 8 hours away, and everytime you get a chance to talk to him, he is distracted, you start to get real lonely...and you start to feel really unspecial. So last night, I hung up on him. Maybe it wasn't the best thing to do, but I was upset. And he got upset and told me..well you know.

So i'm sad. Cause I don't want to be at fault. Although I was at fault for hanging up, I don't feel that demanding a little attention when you are so far away is too much. I definetly wouldnt demand it if I didn't do it myself. And with the thick schedule that I have, I still stop everything I'm doing just to talk to him. He calls me a baby. And says I can't get everything I want. Maybe he's right. I feel he's wrong. But maybe I'm just demanding too much from him.

In any case, I'm the one who is sad.