Sooo...boys. Or atleast one.

OMG. So where do i start?

BG is mad cool. I really do like him. And Im feeling kind of vulnerable. I'm really trying to fight for myself to just let go of it all..you know? Because of the past events this weekend...between them discovering the "real me"..from the laughs, snores, embarassment beyond measure..its hard for me.

I dont know. I just want to do things right. I don't want to hurt myself, in fact i want to protect myself. But I don't want to shield myself so much that I end up missing opportunities. This weekend I feel like I left myself to be vulnerable. And it'll only be a short time before I figure out if it was worth it. My guess is...I scared him away. And that kind of makes me really ...well..to be honest...its just straight up sad.

Today was overwhelming. I realized that I had to get back to reality ..and it wasn't fun. I just hate walking through these days on eggshells. But thats exactly what is happening. And with all the work that I do, I guess it still isn't enough. I'm ready to let it go, and to not worry about it like that you know?

In any case, I'm lonely. Very lonely. Nothing else to really say. No other way to hide it anymore. I'm ready to be with someone. I just wish it would come soon. But I guess, I'll have to accept that patience is key! Right?

I'm getting better at this. I am...serious!

Oh my, but i really do like him.
shit..what have i gotten myself into?