Catching Up...

So its been a minute since i've posted. Looking at where I was just two weeks ago, really allows me to put real things into perspective. Patience is key!! Today..I feel okay. And thats way better than where I was coming from..losing a boyfriend, losing a job, losing friends. Today I am trying to find the beauty in just the company of myself. I realize that I can call the actions...I can allow myself the ability to either choose if I want to trigger this emotion and hang out with this girl, I can choose if I want to face the consequence of talking to my ex, I realize that I can choose to be content with myself...watch a movie ...read a book...go for a walk...and enjoy Me.

Don't get me wrong. Times are still hard and rough. Rough and hard...like a mothaf* but patience allows me to just take it one day at a time. Just move on right along..away from that time where I felt like I was two seconds from a jar of percosets.

I've been trying to figure out what my next move is...with everything. With my living space..I know I gotta stay here..i DON'T want to get kicked out and live on the streets...so finding a decent job is important to me.
But finding a job that will allow me to focus on a career is important as well. Yesterday, I went on an interview for a serving position. Its funny...cause I USED to think that I didnt want any job, I didn't want to win any audition...or anything like that unless they felt like I was absolutely qualified. THESE DAYS, I think very differently. These days its..."just give me a chance"..."let me prove to you"...or..."who do I know that can help put in a good word"? All of which are things that I have put at the top of my list when looking for a job in NYC. Forgive me, but I do not understand how the hell there are miillions of business in this city...and I cannot find one thing to suit me!!! Jeeez louise!